Life 4.0

All about my strange new life, and the art of making it up as I go

Friday, October 30, 2009

Looking for home, somewhere in the rain.

It's been a good day. It really shouldn't have been. Rainy nights now terrify me, because I used to love them so.

The was just something about rainy nights that Roxanne and I both cherished. It was our chance to show that nothing could get the best of us. Through the storm, I always knew I had a place to go where I would be safe and dry. Somewhere where thoughts and ideas, hopes and dreams, laughter and longings would be order of the day. I used to so love coming home on a rainy night, because whatever struggles lay outside were insignificant in contrast to the wonder and comfort we would feel together.

The last few nights have been rainy, and they've been hard. Echoes travel farther in the damp, and doubt spreads like wildfire when it feeds on the desperation that's become my frequent companion. But tonight, I didn't give it foothold. Tonight I mustered the strength that she told me was always there, and used it to maintain peace in my soul.

This weekend is a celebration of death. Skeletons, tombstones, zombies, stories of the walking dead. Yes, all the usual macabre Halloween stuff, plus a Dead Rockers Block Party on the radio station. Death surrounds me and taunts me, but it can go to wherever death goes when someone tells it to go to hell. It didn't get the best of me tonight.

Tonight, I kept my head, and actually made some plans for the future. Tonight I made a difference in someone's life, and not just by occupying space. Tonight I used the hole in my soul not for self-indulgent pity, but as a chance to learn something about myself, and about life. Maybe, I thought tonight, just maybe rainy nights can again be my friend. And maybe someday through the rain, as I always have, I'll find my way home.

There's a strength in knowing that a warm, happy place awaits you when it's time to come in from the rain. Extrapolate the significance, and there's our lesson for the day. Patience, preserverance, and faith -- these three things will lead to the reward. There will be hope, and peace, and most importantly, in the fullness of time, a familiar warm and fuzzy place where I know I'll finally be home.

In the meantime, score today in the "good" column.

No comments:

Post a Comment