The Year Of Rule Six

I once heard the term 'consultant' defined as "someone who knows every position in the Kama Sutra, but doesn't actually know anyone with whom they can put this knowledge to use." Two of the leading consultants in our business are fine men whom I had the privilege to work for at the first radio stations they ever programmed. (No I'm not a name dropper, and we've not kept in touch over the years, so it would be self-serving to name them.)

But truth be told, in any industry, many consultants are useless. They swing into town every few months, take ninety seconds to survey the landscape, then tell you that what you're doing won't work because the people in Syracuse did the same thing and it failed there. But don't worry. they know which of their recycled ideas will work because, well, they know about these sort of things.

Radio consultants are useless, too; but there are exceptions, such as the two I've already mentioned. Included in the notable exceptions are the people who advise us at WABX. It's their guidance which has inspired me to a goal for LIFE 4.0. They have a saying I love and take to heart. I can't quote it exactly because it's probably a contract violation or a breach of the Trade Secrets Act. The idea is that if you area a dull, boring person, your work on the air will be similarly dull and boring. Ironically, this is actually an asset to consultants, enabling them to keep a poker face when saying things such as "This idea worked well in Sacramento, Cincinnati and Pittsburgh, so obvously it's perfect for cities --like Evansville -- with ten letters!"

This applies to bloggers as well. Dull, boring life? It'll make a dull, boring blog. Frankly, it's why I don't post more often on LIFE 4.0. This blog is a chronicle of the events of my life. Yet, so many days are interminably dull. "...Today I went to the doctor. Then I ate lunch. Then I scratched myself..." Sounds like a thrill a minute, huh?

To this point, I've had doubts about my ability to make it on my own. I've voiced many of those doubts here. As recently as day before yesterday, I was convinced that my legacy in the rock penthouse would be "...remember Steven? He was okay until all that shit happened. We should have known it was just a matter of time..."

So I'm ready to ease the weight.I believe that even Roxanne thinks I should, because I'm convinced she communicated something important to me yesterday. I'll not go into details; I don't want to sound like one of these people who sees the image of the Virgin Mary in their Rice Krispies. But the message was clear. Man up. And that means I need to stop taking myself so seriously.

I'd like to be more like I am on the air -- in other words, less dull and boring. Each night, I make an effort to remain interesting and topical in what I do on the night service, unless the WABX Babe of the Day has really nice boobs, which alters my focus. So, in the spirit of New Year's resolutions, I'll import to LIFE 4.0 a resolution I've used on occassion, one which I use when I feel myself getting too complacent.

Please say hello to 2011, The Year of Rule Six.

New Bruce meets the other Bruces in the philosophy department at the University of Woolloomooloo, and learns Rule Six.

You, being a cool, devoted WABX listener, no doubt know the implied joke, that there is NO RULE SIX. (Quick summmary for others: Rule Six is the most important of the faculty rules as referenced in the "Bruces" sketch from Monthy Python. Should your memory need a reboot, please click the embedded video clip for a refresher. If you don't, you are dull and boring, and you should open a radio consulting firm.)

Time to leave the rules behind, and blaze new paths. So, with no rules to constrict things, it's wide open, damn the topedoes, full speed ahead. Hell, yes it's a risk. Daily, I confront medical and career situations over which I have little control. If they sink, me, so be it. As a God-fearing man, I have truly learned to accept His will over the years. I often don't like it. Truthfully, I usually don't like it. But I carry on. I survive.

Today's Lesson? Rule Six in full effect. Wipe away the expectations, rev the engines... and hope to hell I know what I'm doing. Break in the sun till the sun breaks down, and death shall have no dominion.

StevenK